


EPISODE TEN: "You're Not Alone"

by gaypetersimmonds



Series: Skam Brighton: Season Three [11]
Category: Original Work, SKAM (Norway)
Genre: BIG TW IN CLIP SIX FOR DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, Canon Autistic Character, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Gay Character, Canon Trans Character, Gen, HELLO LADS LET'S GET THIS HOLY BREAD, IF THAT BOTHERS YOU YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN;T READ IT, SKAM Season 3, [plays mystery of love by sufjan stevens], boys can be friends and nice to each other!!!!!, episode 10, it also depicts bad situations if that helps, no offence but it's about forgiveness and family and maybe realising your mistakes, when you're going through it and you're also gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21699784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypetersimmonds/pseuds/gaypetersimmonds
Summary: Jake Love is tired. Tired of pretending that he likes his friends, that he doesn’t like his ex-friends. Tired of pretending that he likes girls. But he's happy enough to sleep through life.That is, until he gets a wake up call from the new guy at school.As they become closer friends, Jake’s worries get higher and higher, and he’s going to do whatever he can not to fall.FIRST CLIP: "Can't Be Trusted"
Series: Skam Brighton: Season Three [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1498070
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	1. CLIP ONE: "Can't Be Trusted"

**SATURDAY, 7TH DECEMBER, 12:38**

EXT. STREET

_“Mystery of Love” by Sufjan Stevens_ plays as JAKE walks down the street, hands in his pockets, hood up, same clothes as yesterday.

He walks up to ALISTAIR’s front door and knocks quickly, instantly putting his hands back in his pockets. He looks around awkwardly, and then the door opens. The music stops.

BRIANNA’s in the doorway, CUSTARD at her feet. Her eyes go wide as JAKE looks confused.

BRIANNA  
Oh, fuck me.

JAKE  
What are you doing here?

BRIANNA  
How’d you get my address?

JAKE  
What?

BRIANNA rolls her eyes, sighing, giving up.

BRIANNA  
I live here.

JAKE  
No, you don’t.

BRIANNA  
Pretty sure I do.

JAKE  
No, Al lives here.

BRIANNA sighs, holding the bridge of her nose as the dots connect in JAKE’s head. He gasps.

JAKE  
No fucking way.

BRIANNA  
If you tell anyone, I swear to God--

JAKE  
You’re siblings?

BRIANNA  
Step-siblings. Emphasis on the _ step _. If people find out, I’ll tell them about how you lost that weed and can’t be trusted.

JAKE sighs, looking down at CUSTARD. He stares emotionlessly back at him.

JAKE  
Look, is-- Is Al home?

BRIANNA  
Why?

JAKE  
I need to talk to him.

BRIANNA  
He doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now.

JAKE  
Come on, please.

BRIANNA  
I’m not lying. He doesn’t want to talk. Now, do yourself a favour and fuck off.

BRIANNA begins to close the door, but JAKE pushes it back.

BRIANNA  
I said you can’t come in.

JAKE  
Brianna, you have to let me. I-- I saw him do something, and--

BRIANNA  
I know. We all know. And you’re just going to make it worse.

JAKE  
How do you know? 

BRIANNA folds her arms, ignoring the question.

BRIANNA  
Look, if you want to talk to him so much, text him.

JAKE  
He blocked me.

BRIANNA  
Can you just--

JAKE leans past BRIANNA and yells into the house.

JAKE  
Al! Al, please let me in, Al!

BRIANNA pushes him away and slams the door in his face. JAKE groans, and kicks the wall, turning and walking back up the street. He takes out his phone and looks at the picture of ALISTAIR he took on Friday. He sighs, and just keeps walking up the road, not knowing what else he can do.


	2. CLIP TWO: "He Probably Doesn't Want People To Know"

**SUNDAY, 8TH DECEMBER, 14:44**

INT. LIVING ROOM, JAMES’S APARTMENT

NICK, THEO and JAMES sit together, eating pizza and watching a football game on the TV. It’s quiet, but they’re all relaxed. The door opens, and JAKE walks in, phone in his hand, looking worried.

JAKE  
Hey. Can I…?

They're paying too much attention to the match to notice. JAKE just sits down next to them anyway, taking a slice.

JAMES  
Oh, that's a fucking penalty!

JAKE  
Who’s playing?

JAMES  
Tottenham and Man City.

NICK  
When you said we were watching Man City, I was expecting… 

There's some laughter, but they go quiet again, JAKE not watching the match. He looks down at his phone, the screen staying black.

JAKE  
Have-- Have any of you heard from Al recently?

JAMES  
Things go badly after your "surprise"?

JAKE  
I'm just wondering.

JAMES  
No. 

There's a short pause.

NICK  
Why you wondering, bud?

JAKE  
Um… Something happened.

NICK  
Did you cum too early? Did he say your dick was small, 'cause there's nothing wrong with--

THEO  
Shut up about dick and let him speak, Jesus.

NICK  
Close, my middle name's Christian!

THEO just looks at JAKE like "please talk".

JAKE  
Well, uh, Al… Al had this… He did this thing. Ellie said it was a-- a manic episode, or an autism thing, or-- I don’t know. Both, maybe, and he hasn’t spoken to me since.

THEO, NICK and JAMES all suddenly realise how serious it is, and JAMES pauses the TV, JAKE hunching his shoulders.

JAMES  
What happened? Did he have, like, a meltdown?

JAKE  
I don’t know, he was like, crying. And he was acting weird in the hotel beforehand.

NICK  
Like what?

JAKE  
Just… Not like himself. He was… annoyed? He kept talking about how this "wasn't how it was meant to go".

THEO  
Shutdown, maybe? And-- And Ellie said a manic episode?

JAKE  
I mean, she was yelling a lot, I don't really remember, but I’m pretty sure she said that. Bipolar, right?

They all nod/make noises of agreement.

THEO  
Was he, like, being reckless?

JAKE  
I mean, he stole his parents’ credit card.

NICK  
Oh my God.

JAMES  
That-- What for?

JAKE  
We went to London. To see that Waitress show.

JAMES  
What?!

JAKE nods.

JAMES  
What was it like?

JAKE  
Um, good?

JAMES looks like he’s about to go off, but THEO puts a hand on his arm and shakes his head.

THEO  
Have you tried to talk to him about it?

JAKE  
Went to his house, but his sister made me go away, and he's blocked my number. Again.

JAMES  
Is he okay?

JAKE  
I don’t know.

JAMES  
Fuck…

NICK  
I hope he is.

THEO nods, as they all eat, JAKE watching them, not eating.

JAKE  
What should I do?

NICK  
I don't know, mate.

JAKE  
Oh.

He looks down, as THEO scoffs and rolls his eyes.

JAKE  
What?

THEO  
You can’t come to us every time you have a problem and no other time. We’re not your little elves, here to solve your problems and fix your shoes.

NICK  
_ Shoes _ ?

JAKE  
I don’t--

THEO  
Yes, you do.

JAKE  
I'm not here because I want you to fix my problems. I just-- I want to make sure Al's okay, because... Besides, you guys are my friends and I wanted to hang out with you.

There’s a pause, THEO looking down, guilty.

THEO  
I'm sorry. I-- I can kind of be an asshole sometimes.

JAKE  
It's okay, Theo. 

JAMES clears his throat, getting the attention.

JAMES  
When-- When Liz was going through it last year, she would say when she needed space and when she wanted me to stay, so maybe he just needs some space?

JAKE  
Yeah, maybe.

JAMES

I’m gonna text him, just to see.

NICK

Yeah, me too.

They get out their phones, THEO doing the same.

THEO  
Should I mention I’m autistic too?

NICK  
Nah, he probably doesn’t want people to know.

JAMES  
Poor guy.

They all nod, typing on their phones, JAKE watching, bouncing his leg. JAMES's mouth falls open slightly.

JAMES  
He blocked me.

JAKE  
What?

NICK  
Shit, me too.

THEO  
Me too.

They all look at each other, not really knowing what to do.

JAKE  
We could ask the girls what to do, they're friends with him too?

NICK  
I'll text Rori to talk to them.

JAKE nods as NICK begins to text again, JAMES doing the same.

JAMES  
I'm texting Liz too, just in case.

THEO looks over at JAKE, who's still bouncing his leg, and takes a deep breath, trying to find the right words.

THEO  
It's gonna be okay, Jake. Shit gets bad for a while, but it always gets better. Episodes like that, they can really take it out of you, make you do things you don't wanna do, but... He'll be okay.

JAKE smiles a little, letting the words sink in.

JAKE  
Thanks, mate.

THEO  
No problem.

JAKE takes another bite of his pizza and slows his leg down, eventually stopping it.


	3. CLIP THREE: "I Don't Feel As Much Anymore"

**TUESDAY, 10TH DECEMBER, 23:47**

INT. JAKE’S ROOM, JAMES’S APARTMENT

_“better alone” by Lykke Li_ plays as JAKE sits on his bed, bags under his eyes, his laptop on his lap. He googles “autism” and clicks on the NHS page about it. There’s a bunch of different options, but he selects “Autism and everyday life”.

The header says “Find information and advice about living as an autistic person or caring for an autistic child”, but most of the options are written for parents of autistic children. He clicks on “Help for families of autistic people”. 

He scrolls through, but doesn’t find anything useful, looking bored. It’s aimed at parents of young kids. He sighs, and searches on the NHS website: “bipolar” and clicks on the “Bipolar disorder” article.

He scrolls down and reads: “People with bipolar disorder have episodes of:

  * depression – feeling very low and lethargic
  * mania – feeling very high and overactive

Unlike simple mood swings, each extreme episode of bipolar disorder can last for several weeks (or even longer), and some people may not experience a "normal" mood very often.”

He scrolls quickly past the depression section to the mania section. He reads it, very focused, focusing on the symptoms “not feel like eating or sleeping, talk quickly, become annoyed easily”. He stares at it for a bit too long, his mouth slowly opening, and then closed the webpage, the music stopping.

He takes his phone out from underneath himself and looking at CHRISTINE’s contact information. His finger hovers over the call button, but he selects the text instead. He slowly types out: “Hey Mum. I’m sorry about”

He deleted the last sentence. 

“Hey Mum. Do you think you might be bipolar?”

He sends it, and breathing heavily for a short while, anxious, until CHRISTINE replies: “I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you. I got diagnosed a while after your father passed, but that was just depression. But then. You saw what happened. I’ve come down now. I don’t feel as much anymore. Do you think you could come home?”

JAKE takes it all in, sad, relieved, stressed, happy. He responds: “I don’t know.”

CHRISTINE responds: “Come to church tomorrow. It’s confession at 6. Even if you don’t come, I’ll be there. XOXO.”

Before he can even think about it, Jake sends back an “X”. He smiles, sad, and holds his phone to his heart, letting his eyes close. He lifts his laptop off of his lap and places it on the floor next to him. He turns over and closes his eyes, everything still on his mind, but for a moment, he can rest.


	4. CLIP FOUR: "Confession"

**WEDNESDAY, 11TH DECEMBER, 17:01**

INT. CHURCH

_“Let It Be” by The Beatles_ plays as JAKE walks into the church, closing the door quietly behind himself. The place is empty, and he looks to the altar, sad familiarity coming over his face. 

He walks down the aisle, looking up at the stained glass window, and as he approaches the confession booth, an OLD MAN walks out, walking with a cane. JAKE smiles at him, and he smiles back.

JAKE waits for the MAN to leave, and then goes into the confession booth, the song stopping as he closes the door.

INT. CONFESSION BOOTH, CHURCH

JAKE kneels down, facing a grate through which there is a vaguely humanoid outline.

JAKE  
[blessing himself] In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen.

FATHER RAINES  
You can begin.

JAKE  
Uh, forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been… a while since my last confession.

FATHER RAINES  
Okay.

There’s an awkward pause.

FATHER RAINES  
This is the part when you confess your sins.

JAKE  
Yeah, sorry. Um… I forgot to recycle this week?

FATHER RAINES nods in the other room, and JAKE sighs.

JAKE  
I… I guess… Look, this-- This is all anonymous, right?

FATHER RAINES  
Completely.

JAKE  
Well… I’ve kind of been messing everything up. With my friends… My mum… My… My boyfriend.

He pauses, waiting for some objection. It doesn’t come.

JAKE  
So many people hate me. And-- And they’re right to. I’ve done a lot of bad sh-- I mean, stuff. I got into fights. Watched people fight without doing anything. I-- I outed one of my best friends because I thought I was helping her. I wasn’t. I left home because my mum had a manic episode. I left my boyfriend behind in London because he had a manic episode. I… I just feel like I can’t do anything right, and when I think people like me, I start to think that they don't and I don’t know why. I do. I just… I feel bad because I know I’ve been bad, and-- And I want to make it all go away, but I can’t.

FATHER RAINES  
You’re right. You can’t. 

JAKE  
That-- That doesn’t help.

FATHER RAINES laughs a little.

FATHER RAINES  
I’m not finished, son. You can’t make your past go away, but you can ask for forgiveness.

JAKE  
I have, but it doesn't work.

FATHER RAINES  
Not from other people. From yourself. From God. Let yourself be forgiven by Him and move on. Be reborn.

JAKE  
But… What if… I’ve felt like this so long, I-- I don’t know who I’d be if I went back to being happy.

FATHER RAINES  
Then find out.

There’s a pause, JAKE breathing shakily.

FATHER RAINES  
5 Hail Marys.

JAKE  
Thank you, Father.

FATHER RAINES  
You’re welcome.

JAKE blesses himself again and stands up.

INT. CHURCH

_“Let It Be” by The Beatles_ resumes as JAKE steps out from the confession booth, wiping down his trousers, and then everything goes into slow motion as he looks up and sees CHRISTINE walking in. She doesn't see him, but he sees her, and he smiles so wide, all of the love flooding back to him.

She sees him and smiles too, so relieved, and runs over to him, JAKE running to her. They embrace, hugging each other tightly, neither one wanting to let go. Back to normal speed as JAKE opens his mouth to speak, the song fading out.

JAKE  
Mum, I-- I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have--

CHRISTINE  
It’s okay. I would’ve too. You’re-- You’re back now, right? That’s all that matters.

JAKE  
I’m back. I’m back, Mum.

CHRISTINE buries her face into his shoulder, trying not to show that she’s crying. JAKE strokes her hair.

JAKE  
It’s okay. We’re gonna get to some doctors, yeah? Make ourselves feel better.

CHRISTINE  
Thank you.

JAKE nods, holding back tears too.

JAKE  
It’s okay, Mum. I love you.

CHRISTINE  
I love you too, Jake. So, so much.

She kisses his shoulder as he smiles, letting himself cry. The light of the stained glass reflects off of them as they both smile, not letting go.


	5. CLIP FIVE: "I'd Stay If I Could"

**FRIDAY, 13TH DECEMBER, 20:24**

INT. LIVING ROOM, JAKE’S HOUSE

JAKE and CHRISTINE are sitting on the sofa together, “Say Anything…” playing on the TV. CHRISTINE’s watching happily, eating crisps as JAKE scrolls through his phone.

He goes onto Instagram and sees that the BACA Theatre Club account is doing a live. Beneath that are several pictures of the talent show, people in the audience, pictures of people performing. He puts his headphones in and, after it takes a few moments to load, starts to watch the live.

It’s a slightly shaky camera showing the SALLIS BENNEY THEATRE STAGE, with ELEANOR on it, alone. She’s not really moving, her voice is stilted, and there’s no one on piano. The backing track is pre-recorded.

ELEANOR  
_ I love him  
_ _ I love him  
_ _ I love him  
_ _ But only on my own _

The audience applauds, with some cheers thrown in, and ELEANOR bows awkwardly and walks off stage, LIZ walking on in her place.

LIZ  
That was great!

LIZ keeps talking, as CHRISTINE taps JAKE’s shoulder, JAKE taking an earbud out.

CHRISTINE  
What are you watching?

JAKE  
School talent show.

CHRISTINE  
Can I see?

JAKE pulls his headphones out as CHRISTINE pauses the movie, JAKE turning the volume up as JAMES and SANDY push a piano onto the stage, the audience in awkward silence for a moment. ALISTAIR walks onto the stage and sits at the piano, and JAKE’s casual mask falls. His mouth is slightly open - no idea what he should do.

ALISTAIR begins to play the piano, a jaunty tune with a hint of sadness as CHRISTINE smiles, not noticing the pain in JAKE’s eyes.

ALISTAIR  
_ The time has come  
_ _ I'm flying away  
_ _ Mouth is numb  
_ _ I don't know what to say  
_ _ And although I'll be out of sight, dear  
_ _ Know I'll be right here  
_ _ Right here forever, ever, ever, ever  
_ _ And when you look to the night skies  
_ _ Don't think of goodbyes  
_ _ Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever  
_ _ Come! No, you can't come with me  
_ _ Stay! I wish I could  
_ _ Goodbye  
_ _ I know it's hard to say _

CHRISTINE looks to JAKE.

CHRISTINE  
He’s good!

JAKE nods, smiling a bit too tightly.

ALISTAIR  
_ Come! No, you can't come with me  
_ _ Stay! I wish I could  
_ _ Goodbye  
_ _ I know it's hard to say  
_ _ Ow, I know it hurts to say _

He slows down a bit, JAKE breathing slowly.

ALISTAIR  
_ I'd stay if I could  
_ _ But the universe won't let me  
_ _ Please be good  
_ _ Don't you forget me _

JAKE shakes his head slightly as ALISTAIR grins, disheartened but hiding it, going back to a happy tune.

ALISTAIR  
_ And although I'll be out of sight, dear  
_ _ Know I'll be right here  
_ _ Right here forever, ever, ever, ever  
_ _ And when you look to the night skies  
_ _ Don't think of goodbyes  
_ _ Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever  
_ _ And although I'll be out of sight, dear  
_ _ Know I'll be right here  
_ _ Right here forever, ever, ever, ever  
_ _ And when you look to the night skies  
_ _ Don't think of goodbyes  
_ _ Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever _

The audience begins to clap along, CHRISTINE bopping her head, JAKE smiling, sad but so, so proud.

ALISTAIR  
_ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah _

ALISTAIR stops playing and stands up, abandoning the microphone as he jumps to the middle of the stage, stomping and clapping in beat with the audience.

ALISTAIR  
_ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah  
_ _ Ah, ah, ah, ah _

As they all keep clapping, ALISTAIR singing turns more into a scream, a long, painfilled scream. The audience slowly starts clapping, but ALISTAIR keeps screaming and clapping, until he’s the only one left doing it. He stops, and looks out at the audience. His smile falls, and he bows, bending at the waist, his arms raised up behind him.

CHRISTINE  
Oh, that was--

She looks at JAKE, and he's crying silently.

CHRISTINE  
Honey, what’s wrong?

JAKE  
That’s… That’s the guy I'm in love with.

CHRISTINE  
Oh.

JAKE looks at CHRISTINE, scared, but she hugs him, the phone falling between them as applause plays. JAKE turns his phone off, everything going silent.

JAKE  
Mum?

CHRISTINE  
Yeah?

JAKE  
Do you still love me? 

CHRISTINE shakes her head, laughing.

CHRISTINE  
I would never stop loving you, my son.

JAKE nods, going quiet for a moment, smiling, so, so relieved, and CHRISTINE takes a breath, looking down for a moment.

CHRISTINE  
I have something I have to tell you too, Jake.

JAKE looks up at her.

JAKE  
You're gay?

CHRISTINE laughs a little, JAKE joining in.

CHRISTINE  
No, no. Just... We can't afford to live here anymore.

JAKE face falls - he didn't expect this at all.

JAKE  
What?

CHRISTINE  
It's too big, I-- We can't afford it anymore, but... Your father did leave a good amount of money from his savings, and I've been able to rent us a place, but it's on the other side of town.

JAKE  
What?

CHRISTINE  
You'll have to transfer schools, but it'll be great! Fresh start and all! And you can still talk to your friends, with your phones and stuff, and meet up on the weekends, but we'll be in a better place. Smaller. Nice garden for the kids.

She nods over to the back door, where the pets are, and JAKE takes a breath, trying to sort this out in my head.

JAKE  
And... Will it be okay?

CHRISTINE  
It'll all be okay. And you can still talk to that boy of yours.

JAKE smiles, his face going red as he looks down.

JAKE  
Shut up, Mum.

CHRISTINE smiles, pleased to see JAKE happy, and JAKE looks at her, pleased to see her happy. 

JAKE  
Can you start the movie again?

CHRISTINE  
Okay.

And she does, and they keep watching, JAKE wiping his eyes and not touching his phone again. He puts an arm around CHRISTINE and looking ahead, having all he needs with her there.


	6. CLIP SIX: "Drown"

**FRIDAY, 13TH DECEMBER, 21:57**

INT. JAKE’S ROOM, JAKE’S HOUSE

JAKE's lying on his bed, SNOWFLAKE at his feet as he scrolls through his phone, bored but happy enough.

He gets a message from ALISTAIR and he gasps, opening it. It says “dear jake. i’m at the theatre. thinking of things. you’re one of them. i’m sorry. thank you. goodbye.” 

JAKE smiles a little, but then stops. Things connect in his head, we focus on the “i’m sorry” and the “goodbye”. We flashback to him reading bipolar symptoms and see the word “suicidal”, and then seeing the back of ALISTAIR’s head at the theatre.

ALISTAIR  
_ I'm fallin' baby  
_ _ Through the sky, through the sky  
_ _ Now I'm fallin', baby through the sky  
_ _ It's my callin', baby  
_ _ Don't you cry, don't you cry  
_ _ And I'm fallin' down through the sky _

We see ALISTAIR going from smiling at JAKE to completely expressionless, then sobbing next to ELEANOR, and then JAKE getting up, putting on his coat, as he remembers:

ALISTAIR [V.O.]  
[barely audible] Please, please, please make it okay. Make it all okay. Not for me, for them. They need me and-- Please don’t make it happen again, I can’t do it again, I’m not strong, I’m-- I’m just me.

JAKE walks out of the room, slamming the door behind himself.

INT. LANDING, JAKE’S HOUSE

_“Wait For Me” from Hadestown_ plays from 1:37, as JAKE carefully sneaks across the landing, quiet, but trying to be as fast as possible.

INT. STAIRS

JAKE walks down the staircase, holding on tightly to the banisters. A stair creeks. He winces. But nothing else happens. He keeps going.

INT. HALLWAY

JAKE walks a bit down the hallway, stopping to the side of the open living room door. CHRISTINE is still in there, but JAKE quickly jumps past, silently opening the front door and getting out.

EXT. STREET

As the verse changes, JAKE runs down the street, the streetlight illuminating his panicked, panting face. He’s shielding his eyes, so he can see through the rain and the dark and the light.

He passes by BRYAN and RORY, completely ignoring them as he keeps going, the rain battering off of his body as BRYAN and RORY shout at him. We can’t hear what they’re saying, but JAKE keeps going, determined to get there before it’s too late.

EXT. SALLIS BENNEY THEATRE

JAKE runs past a few groups of people, no one we know, and turns into an alley way.

EXT. FIRE ESCAPE, SALLIS BENNEY THEATRE

As the bridge hits, JAKE runs around the corners and freezes, seeing ALISTAIR standing on the platform where they first talked. He’s holding on the railing, leaning over it, looking down. He then looks up at the walls of the buildings all around him, trapped. He looks back down at his feet and steps back a little, stumbling. He leans against the window, turning around to see the blinds drawn but a light still on in there. He turns back to the railing and walks towards it, holding on it as the wind blows his hair back. He begins to climb it, but JAKE raises a hand.

JAKE  
Al!

The music stops, only the rain falling and wind blowing as ALISTAIR looks down at JAKE, scared, surprised, and mostly ashamed. He can’t move, but JAKE looks around. There’s no one around.

JAKE  
Al, get down! It's dangerous up there!

ALISTAIR nods, but he can't seem to move any other way. He tries to move the muscles in his hands, but nothing.

JAKE  
I-- I'm coming up!

JAKE begins to climb up the stairs, as ALISTAIR finally moves, walking further up the stairs, panicking.

JAKE  
Al!

JAKE starts to run up, but he trips on the slippery stairs, landing on his hands and knees, yelping as he goes down, making ALISTAIR turn around. He doesn’t move though.

JAKE gets back up, pissed, breathing heavily, as ALISTAIR climbs back down to the platform, letting JAKE come meet him there. There’s an awkward, rain-filled silence.

JAKE  
Well?

ALISTAIR  
What?

JAKE  
What the fuck are you doing here?

ALISTAIR  
I--

JAKE  
You-- You can’t just come up here, on some fucking stormy night, you could get hurt! And we don’t want that!

ALISTAIR groans, covering his face with his arms protectively.

ALISTAIR  
Yes, we do, now can-- Can you just go?

His arms drop to his sides, exhausted. JAKE stares at him, his mouth slightly agape.

JAKE  
You were about to kill yourself, and you just want me to leave?

ALISTAIR  
Yeah, pretty much.

JAKE lets out a breathy laugh, humourless.

JAKE  
What makes you think I’m gonna leave?

ALISTAIR  
Everyone leaves. My mum, my brother, my friends, Ellie. You.

JAKE  
What?

ALISTAIR  
You saw me. You told me that your mum was crazy. You ran away when you-- When you saw me melt down. You just left.

JAKE  
I-- I didn’t want to.

ALISTAIR  
Then why did you?!

JAKE  
I didn't know what to do, I was scared! You-- You were…

He trails off, not sure of what to say.

ALISTAIR  
I’m scary?

JAKE  
No, I--

ALISTAIR  
It’s okay, I know I am! I-- I see and hear shit that isn’t there, I-- I can’t accept that this is my life, I can’t breathe most of the time, it’s like I’m fucking drowning all of the time, and I-- I can’t stop! I can never stop this, the rain keeps coming and coming and when it’s sunny, it’s so bright I die of dehydration, but then the flood comes back, and it just keeps coming! Even when I’m normal, it’s still raining, and I-- I can’t take it anymore! Everything’s always happening and I just want to stop!

There’s a pause, JAKE staring at ALISTAIR. Between the tears and the rain, ALISTAIR really is drowning. JAKE's seen this scene before in movies, but this is so much more real. He doesn't know what to say, so he copies what he knows.

JAKE  
Don’t be a coward, Al.

ALISTAIR  
Don’t you fucking call me that! I am not a coward! I have spent seventeen years angry and tired and depressed and I just want to go! Is that so bad?

JAKE  
I thought you were sixteen.

ALISTAIR scoffs.

ALISTAIR  
Oh, yeah, focus on that! My birthday was last month.

JAKE  
Why didn’t you tell me?

ALISTAIR  
I didn’t want you getting attached!

JAKE  
I’m your boyfriend.

ALISTAIR  
It was only meant to be a kiss!

There’s a pause, JAKE’s face falling.

JAKE  
What?

ALISTAIR  
I-- I just wanted one kiss with someone who liked me. Someone who I could actually like. And-- And you were listening and talking back and I couldn’t stop and I just wanted one kiss. One kiss where I wasn’t acting before I… Jake, you’re a nice guy. You’re good at sports, you're funny, you're nice and you’re properly beautiful, but… 

JAKE starts to breathe heavily.

JAKE

But what?

ALISTAIR  
I don't know! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, I don't even know what I want! I mean, I want people to think I’m a good person, so I just keep acting like I am, until I get close to them and then I realise they’re out to get me and I’ve always hated them and-- And it fucking sucks! My meds don’t work, Jake! I can’t take pills because of sensory issues and there aren’t many good liquid based meds for-- for me, and-- I just keep trying and nothing works.

ALISTAIR starts to full on sob, his hands flapping about everywhere.

JAKE  
Just… Can we just get down from here and-- And we can talk about this. Get somewhere warm and dry and get some new clothes. Everyone will be worried about you.

ALISTAIR  
They don’t care about me. No one does. I know that, okay? Don’t try to convince me. You know everything that's been happening, you saw the fucking election results! Fucking Tories! We're all fucked, Jake! No one cares about what me or the people I care about go through! The world's fucking burning but it's all "me, me, me", isn't it? It's the only way we can bloody cope because the world's ending and we're all fucking terrified, so it's just gonna be easier to leave before it gets too bad.

JAKE reaches out and touches his arm, but ALISTAIR hits him away, screaming, hitting and hitting and hitting until JAKE’s a few stairs down from him, his hands scraped up. JAKE stares down, and ALISTAIR's face falls, realising what he’s done and he falls to his knees, sobbing into them.

ALISTAIR  
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I just-- I just-- I-- I-- I-- I-- I--

He keeps repeating the word, rocking back and forth, dangerously close to the edge, and JAKE slowly takes out his phone and quickly texts BRIANNA: “Come to the theatre, up the fire escape. Al’s gonna jump.” He looks back up at ALISTAIR, who’s just turned back to sobbing. He abandons everything he knows, JAKE's just gonna say what he wants to.

JAKE  
Al. Just… I know it probably doesn’t help, but… I care about you. I was feeling so… So awful and alone until I met you. I… I accepted myself because of you. Got help for my… My depression. And I’m gonna help my mum and she’s gonna get help too. And, um, we’re moving next weekend, she said. Just across town, but I'll have to move schools and shit. And… And you might not still love me. But I loved you. Still do. And-- And if anything happened to you, I would be devastated.

ALISTAIR looks up, and he looks so much smaller than anything JAKE’s ever seen.

ALISTAIR  
I’m sorry. For... I don't know, I just am. I'm selfish. I just… I just wanted someone to love me because they wanted to love me, not because I… I was any use to them. But… Thanks. I guess.

JAKE  
So many people love you, Al. You may not know it, but they do. And you’re not scary. You’re-- You’re just you. And you’re… 

ALISTAIR shrugs at him, like “I’m what?” as JAKE kneels down to face him.

JAKE  
You’ve been my guardian angel. And if you hadn’t have come along, I… I would be where you are. I thought about it before, trust me.

This is the first time JAKE's ever said it, and he wipes the rain/tears off of his face, ALISTAIR taking a few heavy breaths.

ALISTAIR  
Jake, I… I’m sorry for making you do this.

JAKE  
You’re not making me do anything, okay? I want to help.

ALISTAIR nods, letting the words hang in the air for a moment.

ALISTAIR  
Do you think stars get sad?

JAKE doesn’t know how to respond, but he shrugs, thinking the more ALISTAIR talks, the more he stays alive.

ALISTAIR  
‘Cause-- ‘Cause they’re watching all of us fuck up on Earth, and they’re already dead. They’re dead but they’re still there. Empty and watching. Like little cameras in the sky. ‘Cause we’re always being watched, aren’t we? By God or people or whatever. I feel it. I feel every eye on me, I hear every breath taken around me, I have so much in me… But I’m empty.

He laughs a little.

ALISTAIR  
That’s-- That’s weird, isn’t it?

JAKE, terrified but trying not to show it, shakes his head.

ALISTAIR  
I’m usually alone when I do this. I-- I just talk and talk and talk until my voice runs out and I cry myself to sleep and then I wake up and go back to school. I’m sorry you’re dealing with it.

JAKE  
You’re not alone, Al. You’re never alone.

ALISTAIR  
I am, though. In my head, I am. And the only way to escape it is to--

JAKE  
Talk to other people. You have to open doors, you-- You can’t just barricade yourself in. Even if the furniture’s moving itself, you-- You have to try. ‘Cause the universe wants you to stay. You have so much in you, just like you said. Stories and songs and art and shit no one else could ever think of. You _create_. You speak, you sing, you dance, you-- You are so _human_, Al, and you deserve to live just for that. Just to breathe and try to get a bit happier every day. And I know you’re drowning, but you need people’s help to build a raft. And-- And you’re not alone, okay? You can always talk to me, or-- Or anyone. The boys, the girls, they all adore you. Everyone loves you. So, so much. And I'm still gonna be here. I'm-- I'm not good at this, okay? I'm dumb and not good with words, but... I've just been learning, ever since I met you, that life is worth living. Not just getting by, but... Really living. I want you to... I want you to want to live. You deserve to, because... Not because I'm in love with you or anything, but... Because I'm your friend. And-- And I don't think you want to die. If you did, you wouldn't have still been here when I got here.

ALISTAIR nods softly, JAKE doing the same.

JAKE  
Do whatever you have to, Al, but... Not this. Never this.

ALISTAIR holds his hand out, palm facing JAKE, fingers spread. JAKE holds his hand out to him, in the same way, and ALISTAIR lets them touch. 

ALISTAIR  
[mouths] Thank you.

JAKE nods, as there are heavy footsteps behind them, and JAKE stands up properly to see BRIANNA running up to him, out of breath. She walks past him and looks at ALISTAIR. She nods, and then looks back at JAKE.

BRIANNA  
Thanks.

There's a pause, BRIANNA looking at JAKE for a moment.

BRIANNA  
You can go now.

JAKE  
I’ll-- I’ll see you, Al.

JAKE walks off, but stays at the bottom of the staircase for a moment, listening and watching as BRIANNA sits down next to ALISTAIR, not caring about getting wet.

BRIANNA  
We all got your texts. Thought it was about not coming to the party.

ALISTAIR shakes his head, and looks at BRIANNA.

ALISTAIR  
I’m sorry for ruining your night.

BRIANNA  
Yeah, well…

She looks down and sees JAKE, still standing there.

BRIANNA  
I told you to go.

JAKE  
Al, what do you want to do now?

ALISTAIR shrugs, looking down, so small, so young.

ALISTAIR  
Can-- Can I just go home?

BRIANNA  
Yeah, let’s go.

She helps him up and holds his shoulder tight as she walks down the stairs, glaring at JAKE. ALISTAIR walks on a little bit, and BRIANNA lets her glare fall, looking JAKE in the eye.

BRIANNA  
[whispers to JAKE] Seriously though, thanks.

JAKE nods, and BRIANNA and ALISTAIR walk off into the dark and the rain. JAKE just stays still, unable to think about what just happened. He sits down and puts his head in his hands, done crying. He lets the rain fall on her, looking up into the night sky. He opens his mouth and catching some drops in it. He's alive.

_ CUT TO END CREDITS AS SILENCE PLAYS _

_ CUT TO BLACK _


End file.
